


"John"

by velocitygrass



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Bad Sex, Community: dontbendthatway, Episode Tag, Episode: s04e09 Miller's Crossing, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-01
Updated: 2008-03-01
Packaged: 2018-01-24 20:04:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1615361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velocitygrass/pseuds/velocitygrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the prompt "Rodney/Katie Brown - Rodney calls out John's name during sex." for the Multifandom Bad Sex Challenge at dontbendthatway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"John"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ozsaur](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ozsaur/gifts).



> Het!Sex and gay fantasy sex. Also brief John/Katie fantasy sex (Rodney's mind goes places).
> 
> Thanks to neevebrody for the beta. This is for ozsaur. I hope it's what you had in mind :)

"Westermarck!" Rodney shouted in the middle of the mostly deserted mess hall.

Sheppard managed not to drop his fork, but it had been close, Rodney could see, and he felt a 'What the hell, McKay?' coming.

"That's the effect that makes siblings _not_ be attracted to each other." Sheppard still looked at him blankly, so he explained: "It's why it's perfectly natural for Jeannie to find you more attractive than me."

Rodney could see things click into space in Sheppard's head. And then he saw the inevitable grin and heard the "Uhuh", which technically was agreement, but sounded like anything but.

"I'm serious," Rodney insisted. "It's biological _fact_!"

He was waiting for a wisecrack or some teasing when he heard a very earnest "Rodney! You're back." from the entrance of the mess hall.

When he looked up, Katie was coming towards him, telegraphing worry in brightly blinking neon letters. "How's your sister?" she asked sympathetically, and for a moment he wondered why it was that he preferred Sheppard's teasing to this.

He chalked it up to not wanting to think about how close he'd come to losing Jeannie. "Fine, fine," he said quickly.

She looked as if she didn't quite believe him and debated calling him on it, but then she smiled and said, "And you're talking about biology. I didn't think I'd ever live to see it."

He dutifully smiled in return. Then it occurred to him that she could back him up here. "Yes, I was just trying to explain the Westermarck Effect to Sheppard and how it would cause my sister _not_ to be sexually attracted to me."

She frowned and carefully asked, "Yes?"

Rodney felt she looked a bit disturbed considering they were talking about biology, then realized that she might take this conversation in very strange ways, so he quickly continued, "Who would _you_ say is better looking: Sheppard or I?"

Her eyes widened, and she opened her mouth, looking from him to Sheppard. Rodney really didn't see why she even had to think about this and looked over to Sheppard, who gave her a smile that reminded Rodney of his expression when they were presented with really disgusting food that was supposed to be a rare and delicious specialty. Then he turned to Rodney and gave him a _look_ as if this was somehow _his_ fault.

Rodney looked back at Katie, who seemed embarrassed about still not having answered, and Rodney threw his head back and managed to suppress the 'You've got to be kidding me', but only just, because he couldn't believe even his _girlfriend_ found Sheppard more attractive.

"But I love _you_!" He heard her firm declaration, and his eyes opened. He carefully lowered his head and stared at her.

What?! Were they saying this now? He certainly hadn't gotten the memo on that one, and he was pretty sure that was something that _wouldn't_ slip his mind. Looking more closely, he noticed she looked actually nervous and even paler than usual, so maybe this _was_ new, which begged the question _Why?_

This was all Sheppard's fault, he decided and looked over to him, ready to glare, only to find Sheppard looking as sick as _he_ felt. Okay, at least the man was decent enough to be sympathetic, so Rodney was willing to forgive him.

He slowly turned back to Katie, forcing something resembling a smile. It seemed to work, because she smiled back.

"So, are you done?" she asked, turning to Sheppard then back to him.

Before Rodney could even begin to think of an excuse or consider _why_ he felt he needed one, Sheppard got out of his chair. Rodney didn't think he'd ever seen him move so fast in a situation that didn't involve spears or bullets or other things that could physically hurt you.

"Yes," Sheppard said, smiling apologetically. "And I have to..." He pointed at the exit. "Bye." He nodded at Katie and with only the barest look at Rodney, fled.

Rodney glared after him. He was tempted to shout 'You have to what? Finish your comic?' after him, but Sheppard could move fast if he wanted to. Bastard.

There really was no choice but to get up and go with Katie.

On the way to her quarters, he tried to get out of this weird mood. She was just worried about him. He should appreciate that. Her caring nature was one of the things he liked about her.

He brushed his hands against hers, and she looked at him and smiled brightly, then blushed. He nearly tripped over his feet, because that smile and blush combination meant that they were going to have sex. Which normally was a very good thing, except today he caught himself phrasing excuses in his head ("I'm still tired from the trip.", "I just have too many things on my mind.", "I have a headache.")

Then he nearly stopped, because, oh my God, he couldn't possibly be making up excuses—and bad ones at that—to get out of having sex. That way lay utter madness. He was a guy for Christ's sake. Sex was _always_ a good idea. That's why he was with Katie in the first place. (Even though his sister was _not_ right: Katie wasn't the _only_ one he'd be able to get.)

Inside Katie's room, she pulled him into her arms and into a kiss. He closed his eyes but was completely unable to stop thinking about his conversation with Jeannie. Which was bad, not only because the conversation had been among the low points of a trip that included _offering to sacrifice himself_ to save his sister, but also because thinking about your sister while you were kissing was just _ewww_.

So he tried to think of something else, and his treacherous mind, of course, jumped to said offering of self-sacrifice. Before he started replaying Sheppard's reaction, he figured he had to do _something_ , so he pulled away and started undressing, because if getting naked with a beautiful woman wasn't enough to distract him, then all hope was lost.

It worked, although it was less Katie's pale skin and more that his shoes were putting up a fight that distracted him.

When he had finally wrestled himself free of all clothes, Katie was naked, half-lying, half-sitting on the bed in a fairly good imitation of Leia when she was chained to Jabba the Hut in her infamous golden bikini. His mind tried to picture Katie with Leia's buns, which was more disturbing than sexy really, but then she gestured to the bed next to her in a friendly, non-seductive way, which had greatly appealed to him the first time they'd done this. And he still liked that he didn't feel as if he had to put on a show for her.

Except, after he'd lain down and she'd leaned over and started to blow him, his mind began to wander again. He knew that Jeannie was safe now, but he had to admit the thought of losing her still greatly disturbed him. And then there was Sheppard and what he'd done, and Rodney _really_ didn't want to think about that, so his mind followed the same path of distraction it had before and brought up the ridiculous question of looks again, and _then_ Rodney had to think about how Katie had practically admitted that she found Sheppard more attractive than him, which led to a vivid image of Katie going down on Sheppard and—

_Woah._

He was _not_ imagining his girlfriend blowing his best friend. At least he shouldn't. And if he did, he certainly shouldn't find it hot and it most certainly _shouldn't_ be the thing that finally got him hard. It was wrong, _wrong_ , WRONG.

He banished Katie from his mind. But then there was still Sheppard's cock, and it looked very lonely, and before he knew what was happening, his mind supplied an image of someone else sucking that cock, and it turned out be none other than himself.

"Sorry, sorry," he mumbled after his involuntary upwards thrust.

Katie smiled around his dick understandingly, and Rodney closed his eyes again because he just couldn't look at Katie right now. His mind was pre-occupied with wondering when the _hell_ imagining sucking another guy's cock had suddenly become such a turn-on.

He'd done it in Siberia, because it just seemed impolite not to suck a guy's dick when he did the same for you, but he couldn't really say that he'd enjoyed it. It had been a neutral, technical experience, but thinking about Sheppard's cock was almost mouth-watering.

Rodney imagined his lips stretched around its girth, imagined it lying heavily on his tongue, the sharp bitter taste, the texture, the heat. He licked his lips and groaned.

Reciprocal blowjobs with Sheppard would be amazing. He suddenly wondered why it had never happened. The fuck-buddy arrangement with Pavel had presented itself fairly quickly. To have a similar arrangement with Sheppard would be divine.

And suddenly he was back to thinking about his conversation with Sheppard. With John.

Rodney could hear the "I can't" as clearly as if John were in the room. He realized then that he and John could never be fuck-buddies because if they did something, started something, it _wouldn't_ just be about getting off. Rodney had a sudden, crystal clear image in his mind of holding John's face and kissing him.

He opened his eyes.

Katie's head was bobbing up and down on his dick, and it was as if he was waking up from a dream. And maybe he was, because fantasizing about John when his girlfriend was giving him a blowjob was entirely unreal. It had to stop.

He gently put his hand on her shoulder to signal her to stop. Then he moved aside and arranged her on her back below him. He looked down at her, stroked her hair and her cheek and then slid into her slick warmth, the condom the only thing separating them.

Only it _wasn't_ the only thing. He'd never felt as far away from Katie as now, even as he pushed deeply into her, making her bite her lip in a way that he'd found so endearing the first time. It had been as hot as her breathy little moans, and he tried to remember those feelings: How good it felt to glide into her tight heat, how soft her skin was, the contrast between her skin and her hair, her rosy nipples.

He'd been with her for over a year, and she _loved_ him, but as he thrust into her, he realized that he'd never be able to say it back to her. When he looked at her, he saw nothing but a friend.

He could feel his erection softening, but she had her eyes closed and was panting, and he couldn't just leave her like this, even if they'd never do this again. _Especially_ if they'd never do this again.

He closed his eyes and thought about what he knew would get him hard again. Dark, unruly hair, a hairy chest, a hard dick lying heavily between them as Rodney pushed into John's tight ass. He tried to imagine what John would smell like, what he would taste like, what he would _feel_ like.

Rodney started groaning.

Part of him knew that this wasn't right. He shouldn't be thinking about another guy, but at this point he just wanted to get it over with. He wanted to bring them both off, make it good for her one last time. And make it as good as he could for himself, thinking about the man who'd talked another man into killing himself so that Rodney wouldn't have to watch his sister die, the man who was always there for him, ready to tease Rodney, ready to make him smile.

He pushed more quickly into Katie, imagining how John would look beneath him, mouth open, sweat running down his nose. He pictured his eyes, the same eyes that had looked at him when John had told him that he couldn't let Rodney die. John would look up at him, his legs would tighten around Rodney, and he'd reach up and cup Rodney's face and pull him down into a kiss.

Rodney thrust into Katie, frantic now, almost ready to let go.

Four years. He remembered the first time he'd seen John in that Chair. He'd teased Rodney for the first time that same day. And there had been so many other days, teasing, smiling, fighting, running for their lives, saving each other. So much time and they'd grown so close, and still Rodney had never really noticed just how much, how _much_ John really meant to him. He was...

One last deep push and Rodney shuddered to completion.

'John. Oh God, John,' he thought, trying to catch his breath. Then he remembered Katie and opened his eyes to check if she'd also come, but when his eyes finally focused on her, she was staring at him with something akin to horror.

He was about to ask what was wrong, when she scrambled and pushed him out of her, covering herself with the sheets. He looked at her, not understanding.

"You said his name," she said, stressing every word.

Rodney just stared at her for a moment, still bent forward over her, trying to process what she'd just said.

_Fuck._

He moved back. "Katie." Because, of course, he knew her name, and he never wanted to hurt her, and he wished that he could tell her that it wasn't like that. That it was a mistake, that he'd simply thought about something that John had said. But after what he'd done, what he'd done to _her_ , she deserved not to be lied to. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

He wanted to say more, but he didn't have the words, and in the end whatever she thought was probably close enough to the truth. Maybe they'd talk another time. Maybe he'd try to explain that he'd really liked her, _still_ liked her, but that for some reason, on that particular day, he'd realized that he'd never be able to fully give himself to her, because he already belonged to someone else.

He dressed quietly and swiftly and left with another apologetic look at her.

Outside he buried his face in his hands. He couldn't believe what had just happened.

He took a deep breath and started walking away. His steps grew faster and faster until he found himself practically running, and by the time he was at John's quarters, he was panting a bit.

He took another deep breath and opened the door.

John looked up from the comic book he'd been reading, and Rodney just walked towards him and wiped all doubts away with the simple thought that this week couldn't really get much worse and if he messed this up, he'd simply blame it on a break down.

When he crawled on top of the bed, John put away the comic, but before he could get out as much as Rodney's name, Rodney was on top of him, holding his face in his hands and kissing him.

It took about two seconds, and then John was kissing back, and Rodney could only think, 'Yes, yes, yes,' because it was everything that he'd hoped for and everything that had been missing with Katie.

John pulled him down until they were an entangled mess, and they were kissing and nibbling and licking and touching, and then Rodney had to _breathe_ , and when he exhaled, he heard himself say, "I love you."

He was probably as shocked about it as John, because this had always been agony for him, nerve-wrecking, wrought with expectations, but this time, for the first time, saying those words had been _easy_.

"John?" he asked when he realized that John was still looking at him as if he wasn't sure this was real.

"Yeah, I... Me too. Me too." 

He pulled Rodney into another kiss, and Rodney thought now it didn't matter who of the two was better looking, and at least Jeannie wouldn't badger him about marriage again, and then his mind wandered straight back, focusing only on John, John, John.


End file.
